Food to Serve When You Want to Test a Guy’s Sincerity… (Or turn him off)

Enough with the ultra- impressive meals for a date. Though I had been cooking a great deal of my life- from spoiled brats to the desolate, I never cooked special dinners for the guys I dated. Nor gifted men with what I cook. Ever. Not once. It figures – they’re all gone now. I qualify as one of the world’s most terrible girlfriends: Foodhuntress never invites boyfriends up her apartment. Life Rule Number 5: I’ll cook only for my husband. If I marry at 60, then I’d cook only for the man who marries me at 60. End of story.

Ok, this is what we had for dinner the other night. Good thing I had it with my family (not with a date whom you want to impress) – because this might be the reason he won’t call again. Devour black spaghetti. Look at yourself in the mirror. Smile. The moment the spaghetti strands shoot out of your nose from laughing, ask him to take your picture and put it in his wallet. If the dork calls you again for a second date, marry him immediately.

PASTA NEGRA

2 T olive oil
1 T minced garlic
1/3 C onion, chop finely
1/3 C Sliced bell pepper
1 pc bay leaf
200 g squid (w/ ink), sliced – I had giant squid, the ink was so great
1 C store- bought spaghetti sauce
Salt and pepper
250 g spaghetti pasta, cooked
2 T grated cheese
1 T chopped parsley


1. In a saucepan, heat olive oil. Saute garlic, onion, bell peppers, and squid – with ink and all – until the ink covers the mixture thoroughly.
2. Pour spaghetti sauce. Stir- until the spaghetti sauce is completely blackened. Add a little water or stock if you think it’s too thick. Bring to a slow boil for 6 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Turn off heat.
3. Pour the “negra’ sauce into the spaghetti. Toss. Top with grated cheese and parsley.

Before: Super- excitement.

After: Black mouth.