I have been turning down a few Valentine dates recently- mostly the invitations of the stalker types. (Scary, isn’t it, your phone ringing in the middle of the night?) First because I am too busy with the new restaurant, and next is because I am simply not in the mood for anything sickeningly romantic these days. And coincidentally my chart says that although career and financial success is high, my love luck is at rock bottom after reaching its orgasm, er, height last year. I am advised not to contest the Tao but rather focus on the more important things.
Well, the only person I declared as the object of my affection in the blog sphere is the character of Mr. Hun. Unfortunately, his chart says that Mr. Hun must be extra careful this year as the deities (I’m not sure if they are frowning at him recently) advise him to be very cautious. Robberies, money loss and arguments might ensue as this is not the right time to engage in risky businesses nor long-time affairs. Focus is career. Mr. Hun knows that already. And besides me hanging good luck charms at auspicious directions of my house for his protection, I feel secure that Mr. Hun and myself will be distant this year. If it will be for good, doesn’t matter.
Mr. Hun will be in seclusion. I had also asked Mr. Hun, to help me pray to the gods that I survive the darkest hours of my life.
While lovers in the world are exchanging cards and making love and baking goods with aphrodisiac whatnots, Mr. Hun and Foodhuntress parted at the gates of that monastery where he is set to seek enlightenment. That is his way of defying unlucky prophecies. But I couldn’t believe the drama.
- Mr. Hun could not help but shed a tear.
“I could never love anyone as much as I love you, Huntress (sniff… prsst…), but I am not as free as I want to be. I must serve my purpose lest I complicate things even more.”
“Ssshhh… poor darling, it’s alright, take it easy. Didn’t you tell me before that sometimes we must feel hollow inside to resist self- centered emotions? - why are you crying?”
Mr. Hun buried his face in his hands and sobbed uncontrollably.
I don’t know the reason why I didn’t feel sad at all. Probably my tears are more expensive than truffles… or I just see this event as an ordinary occurrence of life – like the end of a stage play. If there’s a sequel, it’s for the Director to decide. Or, are the teachings of Mr. Hun- about ‘detachments from the world’ now in full use and it is directed at him by his apprentice- that even his detachment, his absence, no longer matters?
I didn’t worry. Although Mr. Hun will sleep only four hours at night and live on a diet of pickled radish, I think I saw a dilapidated Kama Sutra tucked under his robe. If we will no longer see each other and he performs the acrobatics there while we’re apart, that’s not my problem. He is a man- no more, no less.
Meanwhile as I walk away quietly in that sakura- printed kimono, I was thinking of it all. The reason why I could unlock the mysterious codes of my life is because I do not settle too much on the things that slip away, but on what I gained from them during their passing. Mr. Hun watched me grow up. From an unrefined, aggressive self- centered individual into someone who’s just ‘in the flow’, and finally to living my life with so much grace that I could have anything I wish for in life. Lifting that cloak of doubts and fear, Mr. Hun made me see that the world indeed is full of sunshine.
He was that quiet spectator, mentor and peacemaker. That love opened a lot of possibilities that I never knew ever existed – even if such possibilities were conceived in disillusionment or imagination, in a snap, they all come true anyway. Simply because he taught me to BELIEVE. What better gift compares?
If you happen to know who this Mr. Hun is, he is definitely not an angel nor a saint nor a monk, but you would see that such radiance likened to little rays of sunshine, are emanating from his fingertips.
LOVE, like wine, it tastes much better with time. Like a passionate encounter by the fire, it is better when slower, where you discover in every inch, the dark secrets of a kiss. Like an unspoken wish, it is much better when you cast it into the Unknown and let the Unknown create the picture it wants.
For now, this is what we celebrate-
A love that is bestowed with the truest and deepest yearnings of the human heart: a real sense of freedom.
Go, and fall in love!
I shoved my hand into the deep pocket of my kimono and found these little packets of colorful cookies which I placed on Mr. Hun’s hands and lovingly folded his fingers over them. He got teary eyed again but I squelched immediately the attempt to cry with a warm hug.
A simple gift-